Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Old Time Hockey...Season!

a vampire blogger who writes about movies, horror, pop culture and whatever other crap he feels like!!


This may not come as a HUGE surprise to a lot of you, but I'm not really a big-time fan of Fall.

Whaaaaat?? A Nocturnal dude who lives DEEP within HOT Southeast Texas NOT being into Autumn?? Zounds!! How could you?!?! :P

But yeah folks, seriously, "Deceased Leaves'n'Crap On The Ground Season" isn't the purdiest around here. We don't really get all those nice colors, and the temp is like God is have a good old time jacking with the thermostat of the Texas universe.

( "To start off the day... 48 degress!! Yes!! Then...ummm...midway through, I thinnnnnk I like 79!! Then MAAAAAAYBE by 2:30 PM we'll go up to 80...ish... then lickidy split down to 62 at din-dins, then back up to 74 for about an hour ust before sundown, then, for the GRAND FINALE' overnight we'll go WAAAAY down to 37!! YESSS, BRIILLL...LIANT!! :D " )

It's the start of one of my most FAAAAAVORITE sports!! The last "real" sport that is both EXTREMELY manly and also not totally culturally taken over by....umm....how do I say this? Hmm...."Ghetto-chic'? " Yeah, that'll work! B)

In other words, I'm referring to HOCKEY!!

Yeah, at first glance it may seem like a it would be a "wussy" sport, considering it is played on the same surface where men and women figure skate in glitter and sequins ;)

Figure Skating: Maybe it ain't such a bad gig afterall WOOOF!!



...and you spend your time chasing around a tiny "device" that looks like a piece of cowshit....

but THEN, think about it...

What OTHER sport allows you to wear almost the same pads as your average football player, gloves that look like medieval knight's gauntlets, a helmet like the dudes in Delta Force wear and razor-sharp-blades on the bottom of your shoes, ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

What other sport has a piece of equipment that looks eerily like a wooden homage to the Grim Reaper's scythe?

Wayne Gretsky's The Grim Reaper??! ;)


What other sport frequently refers to its hottest scorers as "Snipers?"

Is there any other sport that has a piece of mundane "field maintenance" equipment so righteously (or suggestively ;) lol ) named as "The Zamboni?" (AND even a song praising it? lol )



(Oh you KNOW you wanna drive the Zamboni!! ;) )




Name me any other "Team" sport where not ONLY do fights occur frequently, they're ENCOURAGED!!

Does any other game have a current or former star player named Satan?"

(Actually, his full name is Miroslav Satan pronounced SHAH-tan, YESS that's his born name, but whatever, that's still the most awesome name on a jersey....EVVVEEEER!! B) :) )

Most awesome name on a hockey jersey...EEEEVER!!


Name me another pastime where there is an employed Bar-Bouncer-On-Ice-Skates who's SOLE duty is to locate either his opposing team's star scorer OR THEIR Bar-Bouncer-On-Ice-Skates...and kick their asses!! ( "The Team Enforcer")

Hockey players are HOOOT! :P


And FINALLY...what other game has a flick as awesome to represent it as totally cult-movie fantastique as Slapshot


I can't truly say that I've "put on the foil" on Fall yet until I watch me some
Charlestown Chiefs

which I just did.

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, they still occasionally have Hockey Sweaters...and I totally look smashing in a sweater! LOL :P

Don't get me wrong though, football is fun too! (Hook'um HORNS!!)

But I've gotta get my hockey too....I've gotta get my
Hanson Brothers





Yessir Sunshiners!

Autumn may now commence...I have spoken! Old Time Hockey Baby!! :) [/size]

Happy Wednesday Blogsters

--Chet

a cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in generala cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in general

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