Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Sims 3 And OMG I Have To Pee!










Doncha just hate it when you have friends (or friendettes) that are more....umm hyperactive in many ways than you are?

Enter the Pygmy Trish.


Again.

She ringy-dingy'ed today at 1:30 in the middle of the phackin' afternoon for phacks sake!! My glorious Godlike six-pac abs need their beauty sleep in order to stay so very Godlike and magically delicious ;)

...and if I can't get it when the suns out like any good self-respectin' Vampire, just WHEN can I get it? Huh huh. I ask you...when?

(Gotta fold out couch or waterbed and a rather large stockpile of Raspberry Toaster Strudel? If so, I'll bring my sleeping bag and myself in the "nut-hammock" I sleep in and NOTHING ELSE to your place....STAT!! :) )

So off goes my "Low Rider" musical ringtone....this one plays ONLY when her Half-Pintness calls me, so I know exactly who it is, and who should know better....

HIS EXCELLENCY CHET: "Umm...WHAT??"

TRISHER: "Et Tor-RAY A doble a doble bah-blu-DEEEE!!!"

ME TAKE 2: "Are you Retarded? Did one of your Gimp Johns FINALLY whiffleball ass-paddle slap your tookus one too many times?"

TRISH: "No Wanker, I was trying to wish you a cheery G'morning....."

MOI: "...It's afternoon...."

TRISH: "...in the beautiful Gallic tongue of SIMILISH!!"

Me: "Oh God...."

TRISH: "Yes slave? LOL J/K...Anyhooo, I was telephoning to ask you my dearest Chet..."

ME: " (sigh) So it begins again...I had ALMOST forgotten..."

TRISH: "OY?? Whatever do you mean, my sweet Prince??"

ME: "Your unhealthy obsession...."

TRISH: "With Mario Lopez?? (Purrz like Eartha Kitt here) "






ME FOR THE UMPTEETH TIME: "Pint, they're dolls....they're VIRTUAL FACKIN' dolls in a VIRTUAL FACKIN' dollhouse!!"

TRISH: "Shit, you're a real grouchypuss this'morning...and I'm still not folo..."

ME: "You woke up me up because The Sims 3 is out now... Didn't you??"








TRISH: " (Feigning little girl innocence) Oh YEAAAAH THAT'S RIIIIGHT!! (orchestrated pausy, pause...pause....pause...pause) HMmmmm....well SINCE you were so GRACIOUS as to bring it up...can I ask you the teensy teensy teensest of a half teensy teenst of a favor?? Like, maybe even a nano-teensy-half-teenst..."

ME: "No!! I'm sleeping.....and I'm naked!!"

TRISH: "Perv! But verily Old Chum, my precious Beetle is feelin' quite squished and I need yon Truck to take me on my expedition to the enchanted wonderous kingdom of Best Buy......."

ME: " No...you can wait for the cover of darkness like Every-"

TRISH: "Pretty please?"

ME: "No!"

TRISH: " (In her Motherly voice) Now Chester my Son, don't be a stubborn clumsy Oaf about this..."

ME: "Heeeeey!"

TRISH: "I mean it...If ya'don't help me out...I'll getcha....I'm WAAARNIIIING YOU...."

ME: "Oh like what are you gonna do?? Shave my head again?? Cracker PLEAAASE! It's hot out anyhow and..."

TRISH: " (Starts to sing breaking into her annoying olde North English accent) When you see my face hope it gives you Hell hope it gives you Hell...."

(Oooo that sneak!!)

ME: "AAAAH!! Shuddd-up!!"

TRISH: " (continuing) When you walk my waaaaaay hope it gives you Hell hope it give you Heeeeeellll....."

ME: "ARRRRRGGGGH Knockitoff!!"

TRISH: " (ignoring me and raising her voice even louder) IF YOU FIND MAN WHO GIVES A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WEEEEEELLL...."

ME: "For the love of GAAAWD and all that is holy....MAKE IT STOOOOOOP!!"

TRISH: "....THEN HE'S'A'FOOL AND IT'S JUST AS WELL HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL..... HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL HOPE IT GIVES YOU HEEEEEELLLLLLL...."

ME: "Okay okay...just shut up SHUTUP ALREADY...I'LL DO IT I'LL DO IT!! You hearme?? I SAID I'LL DO IT!! GAWWWD!!"

(Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my noggin for ANOTHER four nights...shit What a bratty little Pixie!!)

TRISH: "Thank you, Dearest Friend, you're SOOOO sweet to me...I could just kiss you for this....and then... maybe bite your bum...*snort* "

So...I spent the rest of my sleep deprived time over at Trisher's watching her feed her latest fix of her continuing addiction since 2000 when the first Sims game came out....continuing her animated Soap Opera of Betrixx MissChievely and her squatty man-servant of ambiguous sexual preference Chauncy Baldjaggers.

I have to say, the graphics ARE pretty spiffy....and it's always fun to watch those poor virtual dumb bastards go potty all over themselves and the carpet and then cry like a baby about it in public...you just don't see that often enough in the real world! ;) lol















Still, I'm not QUITE sure I get the girl's addiction....

Maybe I need to play it...for a few more hours....

How about you??

Are You a Sims Fan??

Have you gotten or are you going to purchase The Sims 3?

If you've gotten it, what's your take on it?

Do you know any Sims addicts? ;) lol



And if you're NOT A Sims fan, what would you say is YOUR weird fanboy/girl obsession?




Happy "Hump Day" people!! :)

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