Friday, February 13, 2009

10 Tips To Make Your Valentine's Day More Interesting

1. Buy A Picnic BACKPACK...Eyyyy Boo-Boo!!

This was a nifty little item I picked up while in College. (The second lifetime around!) Oh, it LOOKS like your standard ordinary backpack, but inside it's equipped with everything you need for a wee little picnic for two, right down to its own silverware, sturdy wine glasses, and a pocket for a picnic blanket, and of course its own picnic blanket! (Huzzah Technology, Huzzah!!)

Sure, there's a SLIGHT possibility your sweetiepoo may have seen one of these before, but if you PLAN it right, she won't be EXPECTING it. The trick is to get it in a color and style scheme that looks as close to your own REGULAR class backpack as possible, then spring a surprise picnic on her...say, after a mutual class you share together.

A stylish study picnic on the grass between classes....not only does it show her you have some post-high school panache' but it's also cost effective.

And who DOESN'T love having those all important extra dollas for beer, gas, and ramen noodle soup!! :)

2. The Student Quad Root Beer Float

Yet another idea I stumbled upon in a Eureka moment of collegiate manchild poorness. (Again, the second time!) At the food shack area at my alma mater I observed these three all important details.....

(A) The soda machines there had Root Beer in 20 oz bottles. ( Caffeine-free Mug..EWW...but still better than nothing!)

(B) They carried ADORABLE little scoop cups of Vanilla Blue Bell in the ice creame vending machine...and even cuter little wooden spoons that looked like paddle oars for kayak-loving mice.

(C) The University cafeteria did NOT carry fountain drinks, yet they also had large Styrofoam cups available to anyone who needed them.

And then let us say you're completely stuck with your "Sweet Baboo" at school on Valentine's Day in between classes with not enough time to go anywhere else...


Why not bring them all....TOGETHER?? As in, ON THE SPOT??

"Heeeeey baaaayBEE, 'Yalike Root Beer Floats?? "


" (Puts index finger to her lips in a melodramatically suave gesture) SHHH my Love, I KNOW what you need....WATCH THIS!!"

Then, have her follow you on your "Root Beer Mad Science Adventure" in a state that is 1-part confused amusement and 2-parts I've-Never-Seen-This-Crazy-Bastard-Before-In-My-Life.

(For added Flair, you can even begin humming the tune Mel Gibson's character hums during the "Smiley Face Shooting Range Scene" in Lethal Weapon while you collect the...ingredients!)

If you do this all loudly enough, and with'll begin to attract a few strangling onlookers as you mix everything together at one of the open tables. (Or even applause at the end like I did!)

No, it's not such a big deal, but it was spontaneous and just a tad bit crazy...and what woman doesn't LOVE a cute guy of hers showing THAT kinda spontaneous flair and thoughtfulness on her behalf??

(Oh yeah, and it's not too expensive!! :) )

Just make sure that's not ALL you do for her, okay bub!! :D

3. Scavenger Hunt, Scavenger Hunt, SCAVENGER HUNT!!

Ordered a really spiffy bouquet at a local flower shop, a personalized clothing/Jewelry item for her, or a Fudgey The Whale Ice Creame Cake were too lazy to have picked it up yet?

Why not get HER TO DO IT!!

Women LOOOVE Mystery and Fun, especially when they're TOGETHER...

So why not make an ADVENTURE out of it? Just for her!!

With the right amount of planning, you too can create an awesome scavenger hunt game out of it chocked full of little riddles left in key spots (her car, her desk, her demonically possed reheaded stepsister's forehead, etc :D ) for her on your personalized Tony Montana monogrammed stationary.

Just make sure that if you're dating a Hooters girl, that you don't make the riddles too hard. Safety First!! B)

Caption: Lookout boys, Hooters McSleuthy is on the case!!

4. Don't Play By The Rules (Well not...TOTALLY anyway!)

The trouble with VD (Valentine's Day, yeaaap, I shortened that shiaaat up!! :) ) from a Military Strategic standpoint is that, much like an 11 year old boy who's "thumbed through" his first dirty magazine, EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S COMING....And FAST!! :D

But that doesn't mean that you have to go by that script!!

Seriously, consider springing your "love trap" on her early...OR, if you're like me, and willing to take the "How could you forget, you insensitive BASTARD!!" heat, spring your plan on her AFTER Valentines.

Though, if you go this way, it better be something WORTH the wait...and BIG ENOUGH a heartfelt hootnanny that she'll forget about her plans to Super-Glue your manhood to your stomach while you sleep....ouchies!! :D

5. "How do I think thee are freakin' hot? Lemme, like, count the ways..."

Ever consider trying your hand at Love poetry, or writing a song for her?

If it's funny, or if you're good enough, she'll REALLY appreciate it! Remember, even the BACK UP RECORDING STUDIO guitarist gets laid more than the AV Geeks and Roadies....CHICKS DIG ARTISTS!!

6. Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open

Dude, PAY ATTENTION!! Especially when she THINKS you aren't really listening. You know it's your cue to turn your manlobes into hyperdrive when she says something on one of your dates like "Gosh, one day I really wish I could..." or "I've always wanted..." and then WHIP OUT that special something (as in the GIFT...doofus!!) when she LEAST expects it!!

7. Chum It Up With Orchestra Nerds!!

The great Confucius once said "There is an important lesson to be learned by not giving Band geeks and Orchestra trolls swirlies, even though it can be KICKASS to do so"

Take it from me, when you're both all grown up and chummy, those types of connections can come in major gangbusters handy!!

Afterall, you NEVER know when you might like to surprise your "Princeess Buttercup" with a fabulous Italian dinner and a violinist in her studio apartment living room/dinning room/toilet!

8. Use Your Noggin, Umm...Tom HaeGON...

Think on your feet man!! Romance, imagination, and improvisation are almost ALWAYS the same thing... (except if your idea of Romance involves dressing her up while she's asleep like a hot clown and squirting her with a giant bottle of selzer!!)

Caption: Conflicting, isn't it Ladies? ;) lol

Use them well Bwama, use them well!! :)

9. Dress Her Up In Your Love!

Does your GF always fuss for hours about what to wear on your big date?? Here's an idea: Give her a "Theme" to dress to!! Or if you really, really like her in that certain short skirt, or those kickass boots...TELL HER TO PUT THEM ON! FOR YOU!

Women LOOVE to look their best for themselves and their lover (and to make other women jealous ;) ) IF you're cool about it you can tell her the "clothing plan" you're making for the night. [b] ( Babe, I LOVE you in red...the skin contrast is amazing!" or "When we go out tonight Lover, I wanna see you looking as Retro 50's Glamorous as possible...stun me, and I promise girl I'll stun you!!" )

Just make sure when you stun her it doen't involve insanity, you in a leopard manthong, or a taser!

YaDig? Good! B)

AND...Lastly and Most Importantly....

10. Keep Her Like A Midget At A Urinal....

...OR always on her toes!! :)

In case you hadn't noticed, there's one common thread in ALL of these Love tips (other than love) that ties everything else together and that my blogsters is SURPRISE!!

Predictability and Stupidity, or Neutered-il-ity are all the DEATH of Romantic vibes.

Suspense! Passion! Gusto!! Spontaneity, and Verve are all keys to being successful with your Valentines (or any Romantic) plans!!

Even the most simple of thoughtful little gestures for her is just that much better when it pleasantly surprises her!!

Keep her having fun, and guessing every step of the way in the adventures you plan for her and I PROMISE you won't go wrong!

Have A Very Saucy Valentine's Day Blogsters!!


Skeez said...

great job on this one! You hit the nail on the head. We all like to be surprised in a thoughtful way.

Trishie said...

And yet, Chet, you're still single....



Happy Valentine's Night...

(and don't be dissin' my girlfriend, or I'll wallop you good! )

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