Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Birthday Shamalama-DING DONG



FIRST: Find your Birth Month

January- A stoner....

February- A vamp chick in pigtails....




March- A boozed up children's party clown...

April-- President George W. Bush....

May-- The reanimated corpse of Keith Richards...

June-- Barack Obama dressed in a tricked out Pimp Suit...

July-- A shirtless gay cowboy. with six pac abs...



August-- A killer robot version of Dick Cheney...

September-- Keira Knightly in nothing but a rock band t-shirt...




October-- The decaying remains of Steven Tyler's lips...

November-- A chihuahua "tripping balls" on acid...

December-- A Mexican mariachi singer midget....

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SECOND: Find your Birth day

1--- ......went to the store for a packet of Hostess pink Sno-Ball snack cakes....



2--- ..... was busy picking and then eating someone else's boogers....

3--- .... was merrily watching Videodrome with that god amongst men James Woods....

4--- ..... was doing the Pogo on stage during a children's assembly at a local elementary school....

5.--- .... was watching a documentary about Hitler for the 100th time in a row

6. --- ...was ravenously devouring someone else's Coco Puffs

7. --- ... was in bed with their best friend's mom and Janice, the "whore from next door"

8. --- ....was trying to stage a protest against the cruel abuses inflicted upon sock monkeys

9-- ....was spinning around again and again, trying to seen how long it would take to get sick...

10. --- .... was watching a movie starring actress Leelee Sobieski (and explaining to a friend just who the Hell she is)


Caption: TRICK OR TREAT 'FER NIPPLES!!

11 ---- .... was practicing for their "all nude speed Janga" tourney later that month

12. ---- ..... was busy vigorously masturbating to posters of Sesame Street characters...

13 --- .... was laughing a little too loudly during Avenue Q



Caption: Trekkie Monster is awesome!

14--- .... was trying to get the song "Tom's Dinner" out of their head that had been stuck there for weeks and weeks...

15. -- ...was in the midst of an empty Christmas wrapping paper roll Lightsaber duel to the DEATH....

16. -- ..... was forced to watch Ron Jeremy flex nekkid in front of a full length body mirror



Caption: Ewwww....

17--- .... was having their weekly "Teddy Bear Tea Time" catching up on all the latest news and gossip from stuffed animal land

18. ---- ....was splitting a volcano taco from Taco Bell with their half-man, half-goat best friend Sven

19 ---- ..... was about to turn the garden hose on Kevin Federline

20 --- .... was aggressively praying to their personal deity Jo-Bu that Huey Lewis will soon come out with new songs....

21 --- was "tag-teaming" a beautiful college coed with Cornelius from Planet Of The Apes

22--- was deeply contemplating just who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop and the dip in the dip-tee-dip-tee-dip

23 --- was about to play Twister was several well built muscular fratboys and a can of Crisco

24--- was trying to catch their own shadow

25--- was hopping to do a lunch trade (because egg salad sandwiches suck)



Caption: Yummm-MAAAAY!!


26--- was trying to form a "funky fresh" new hip-hop duo with Vanilla Ice



27--- was helping Gizmo hide from Stripe and the "bright lights, bright lights!"




28-- was playing "hide the salami" with a Nordic personal trainer named Bjorn dressed in a bodysuit of hot pink lycra

29--- was trying to mount a unicorn...from the head

30--- was conducting mad scientific experiments on goats and tsetse flies in the basement

31-- was strapped down in Scarlett Johnassen's Super Duper Secret BDSM dungeon



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THIRD: Find the colour of the underwear you're wearing RIGHT NOW as you read this

Red-- .....when suddenly, Kool Aide Man came crashing through the wall, because he felt so very, very lonely (Oh YEAAAH!)

Black--- when suddenly, the Fashion Police broke through the door and hauled everyone away in designer fuzzy pink handcuffs to get makeovers.

Blue--- When suddenly, a gaggle of ridiculously large breasted Bikini clad women and Spuds MacKenzie parachuted down through the ceiling...to get the party started.



White--- When suddenly, Alf tweeked out on crystal meth, broke in through the window and demanded to eat ALL of the cottage cheese, since he was convinced that he ALONE could save us all from the diabolically evil plans of cottage cheese.

Green-- when suddenly our Solar System passed through the "dark rift" at the center of the galaxy, which caused us all to reemerge in a parallel dimension where everybody's Kung-Fu fighting!

Brown--- .... when suddenly, a massive herd of wild, untamed Jack Russel terriers came in through the doors and windows and then peed on everyone's legs.


But, I'm going Commando---- when suddenly, a swarm of Muppets dressed like Navy SEALS stormed through the door, and Kermit snapped what he THOUGHT was a "guard's" neck before anyone could stop him.

The underwear of the opposite sex---- when suddenly a roller derby team of transvestites (complete with their own flying disco ball) skated in and then repeatedly circled the around room to the tune of ABBA's "Dancing Queen"

Other--- When suddenly a Sandworm came down through the ceiling and everyone in sight, including John Mayer.

Caption: Ya'hate'um right?? I hate'um myself!! :P

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FOURTH: Put it all together and let us know what you get in a comment to this post!! :)

2 comments:

individually wrapped slices said...

The reanimated corpse of Keith Richards...

was trying to form a "funky fresh" new hip-hop duo with Vanilla Ice

when suddenly our Solar System passed through the "dark rift" at the center of the galaxy, which caused us all to reemerge in a parallel dimension where everybody's Kung-Fu fighting!


Which, I dont doubt because I'm sure a Vanilla Ice/Keith Richards duet would fuck up a lot of things. Including the space-time continuum.

Trish said...

The decaying remains of Steven Tyler's lips was about to play Twister was several well built muscular fratboys and a can of Crisco, When suddenly a Sandworm came down through the ceiling and everyone in sight, including John Mayer.

You ae so weird.

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