Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Elementary, ( Retardity ) My Dear Hollywood




Caption: Perhaps I should tell you all how I REALLY feel about all this, instead of being so danged mysterious... ;) :D lol


In case you might've missed it because you had....uhh....more important...things...to do, let me bring you up to speed on apparent Reason # 205 Why I'm increasingly Growing To UTTERLY DESPISE Hollywood

THIS casting news...

Oh yes my friends (ooops...sorry...I KNOW we're all getting A BIT tired of that one...even Republicans! lol;) )

But it is true...somebody over in the not-so-twinkly-Tinstletown is remaking Sherlock Holmes set to come out in 2009 or 2010.

Oh, you don't have to take MY word for it...

Downey Jr. set for 'Sherlock Holmes'-- VARIETY ONLINE

Do I need to explain who's been cast to play the fictionally brilliant detective?

Apparently a fictionally brilliant actor.

(Seriously, can somebody PLEASE explain to me in really big words so I can understand them WHAT is so freaking great about Mr. Downey Jr? )

It discombulatizes me completely.

I mean, the guy's not a TERRIBLE actor or anything...but WHY the perennial raging HARDON by the H-wood elite-o-philes for him?

Oh yeah, and another thing....he's WAAAAAY too short!!

Oh, and his features aren't right.

He's not BRITISH, English, Cornish-British or even Johnny English... ( I don't care what anybody says, Rowan Atkinson rules! ;) lol )

Did I mention he's a midget...err...I mean, too short!!

And last I checked, wasn't Dr. Watson supposed to be a kinda chubby nerdy guy??

Well, think again!!

Say hello to the newer "sexier" Dr. Watson...AKA known in the real world as Jude Law.

Yes, you MAY hit the"W-T-F? " button on your keyboards now...I permit thee to do so, oh and make it STAT!! :P :D

But seriously, does anyone else find it maybe a TAD...uhh...I dunno...INSULTING to our good chums across the pound that a taller ENGLISH actor (who'd be better suited to play the part...but only slightly :P ) is cast to play a SIDEKICK to a leprechaun....err I mean AMERICAN actor ;)

And while I understand that the absolute BEST actor to play the part is already playing him in way of sorts on TV in the fast-paced and SNARKY world of 21-Century medicine ;)




....and that the "dead-ringer" for the character actor Peter Wingfield is probably not famous (or "hot" ) enough to carry a feature film BUT....





...Was Christian Bale too busy or something?




Rupert Everett??



Ioan Gruffudd??




Life's Damian Lewis with black hair??





Rufus Sewell??




Maybe even Jack Davenport, at a stretch???


It's not that hard people!!


(Oh wait...it's Hollywood we're talking about here...OOOPSIES!! Part II: The Shameless Attempt to Cash In On The Original OOPS ;) )

Heh. Maybe we should just all be happy they even THOUGHT to revisit an old classy character like Holmes...

not!!

Are you Interested in seeing "Iron Man" as the world's greatest detective and "Holm-ie?"

Or does it sound like just another lame Hollywood "Turkey?"

Gobble Gobble!! :P :) lol

P.S.-- Many thanks to a blogger and blog I regularly follow, individually wrapped slices for first bringing it up in her blog. You ROCK! :)


1 comment:

individually wrapped slices said...

Screw you, Robert Downey Jr. was in The Shaggy Dog.

And he's got lots in common with detectives. Who do you think found all his Valium and coke? That stuff just doesnt jump right out at you, ya know.

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