Wednesday, August 6, 2008

How To Properly Handle An Annoying Death Survey







*The following is a survey I happened to catch on one of the many other little forum thingies I like to loiter around like a dieased hobo when I'm not on here. It's suposedly by a med student in Florida....I have my doubts but Hell, why not have some fun anyway? ;)

Peruse, Peruse!! *


1. Sex: Sure, why not...if you don't mind being *BOINKED* by a carnivorous nocturnal human who can BOINK you until your bed frame breaks.

2. Age: Beyond that of Consent of course!!

3: Race: Hell no! I just ate...but we can have a staring contest!!

4. Do you understand the concept of dying?

Me sit in living room and eat big ass bag of BBQ chips. Me see gigantor flying cock-a-roach. Me PIMP-SLAP gigantor flying cock-a-roach (yes, I gave it the backhand! ) Me Pimp-slap Cock-a-roach dead.

Yeaaaap, I'd say I've got a handle on it. ;)

5. Has anyone you’ve known (ie: family, friends, co-workers, ect.) passed away?

My Great Uncle Angus....he was a children's party Mime and part-time gay Klansman....strange little man....strange little man indeed....





6. When you die which of the following things do you want done with your body:

a. buried

b. cremated
c. intombed

d. donate body to science

e. other

Oh, most DEFINITELY.... OTHER....I wanted to be cremated, BUT THEN have my ashes placed in a can marked "Folger's Crystals" and then switched for my neighbor's regular coffee to see if anyone knows the difference! ;)

7. If you were given the chance to know WHEN you were gonna pass would you want to know?

Hell Yeah, it's important to know when the Gas is going to come out your bunghole so that way, you'll know precisely when to get your buddy over to kneel down and watch light a match to that shiat!

8. If you could change the time frame (age) in which you were gonna pass would you?

Nah, a good stiff Fart can and should be enjoyed at any age! :P

9. If you could find out the way you WERE gonna pass would you want to know?

Hell yeah, I mean, it makes a difference if you cut a big one off in say, a small little Geo Metro car with all your buds inside and all the windows closed, then right in the middle of a bigass stadium. The Fart Gas just isn't as deadly in open spaces.

10. If you could change the way you were gonna pass would you?

Sure, but then again, I've got a good system that I use almost every time....Lift leg like a dog...make a dumbass retard-o face grin and then say to everyone one in range "Thank you, Thank Yo Very Much...."

After all, a well placed Fart is a thing-a-Beauty!! ;)

Dayumn, that survey was easy!! :)



Caption: AAAAAH...it's a whole gang posse of Mimes...RUN AWAY, RUN AWAAAY!!
(Actually, some of those mimes are kinda hot! Ha! :) )



So then.....


What are YOUR thoughts on Death?



Surveys?



Or even... Death Surveys?



Would you handle a questionaire thing-a-ma-bob the way I did...or do you prefer to contemplate issues like this a little more seriously?
Ever been a Mime? (snickery-snicker!)

1 comment:

Victoria Von Swarovski said...

Definitely didn't put "Mime" at the top of my career list.

Why are men so fucking complicated anyways?

Death is...not an issue. I will be bitten before that happens. Of this I am sure. That's my game plan.

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