Monday, July 28, 2008

Realizations

1. I've come to realize that my cock...


...will not go down until it's READY to go down! Stubborn silly cock!! (smirk)



Caption: Yasee, it's a big cock!! And he's a feisty one too!


2. I've come to realize that this weekend...


....already happened? No WAY!



Caption: Will somebody PLEEASE get this poor woman some eyeballs?? STAT!






3. I've come to realize that when i'm driving...
...That I really need to gank myself up a "Tumbler" super vehicle. These spiked road warrior style rims just ain't runnin' people off the road screaming in fiery pyro-technical horror anymore!! ;)





4. I've come to realize that i need...
... A Snickers bar in the worst way.



5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
....my mind, err....no wait....no, that was someone else's!



6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
...retarded parents put leashes on their rugrat kids in the store...I mean...COME ON!! If you want to treat your heirs like little monkeys AT LEAST break out an organ grinder thing and teach them to dance!! Poppycock, utter poppycock!!



7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
...I'd hope and pray they found that in my liquefied state that I taste a lot like a Cherry Coke...or...uuhh....maybe a Root Beer Float!





8. I've come to realize that money..
...is made more easily by pimps then by me.


9. I've come to realize that certain people...
...should be shot! And then shot again! (preferably with a rubberband gun...in the ass!!) :D



Caption: Why, yes, it's a rubberband Gaiting Gun....BOOOYAH!!

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be..
...an adorable dork and a vampire....but one could always do worse.



11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on...

Yo Momma!! :P Ha! (Oh, and Gabrielle Anwar too...Now THERE'S an Anwar I'd like to see some DRILLING into...preferably if I were the one doing the....prospectin' ;) lol.



Caption: *Ssssslurp! * :P



12. I've come to realize that my mom...
...hasn't be allowed to speak to me directly in over ten years!! (evil Pops and his anti-vamp bigotry!! :( )

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is...
....a piece of crap! I send thee to the bowels of Hell, Phone-cubus!!


Caption: We drop the calls, eat the pig together, and then we burn....BURRRRRNNN!!


14. I've come to realize that when i woke up this morning...
....that it was really time to go back to bed!! Who's the Joker who set my alarm for 7:35...in the MORNING?!?!


15. I've come to realize that right before i went to sleep last day I thought...
....who really WAS that man who put the BOPin the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop? (and was he the exact same man who put the DIP in the dip-dee-dip-dee-dip? )

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
...The Breakfast Club....why? I have no idea!


17. I've come to realize that my Dad...
....will never accept me in my nocturnal existence.


18. I've come to realize that when I get on myspace...
...that I need to get on there more so I can add more friends. (And so Trish can stop comment-raping me with all her movie aps quiz thingies...Love ya babe but GO TO BED ALREADY!! It's...like 1'o'clock in the afternoon for crissakes!! :P lol )






19. I've come to realize that today...
is the first night...err...day of the rest of...uhh...somebody (or some Monkey's) life!






20. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will....
.....eat, sleep, take a dump (most likely) and probably pee. E-Gaaad! I can see the future!! B)

21. I've come to realize that no one...
....was as good at kicking ass as Bruce Lee.




22. I've come to realize that my son...
...will never bring me to "Career Day" whenever I finally will him into existance....but maybe "Show and Tell" though! (no wait, that's Mommy who'll do that... and at an all-ladies Tupperware part- uhh...nevermind!!)
23. I've come to realize that my wife...
....will need to have the energy to do lots and lots of vigorous BOINKING, be borderline crazy, have a knack for knowing ridiculous amounts of pop culture trivia...ANNND be smart as a whip!! Assuming someone EVER drags me kicking, screaming, and peeing to the alter...of course! ;)

24. I've come to realize that I really want...
...YOOOOO to tell you what I want, what I really REALLY want!

(so TELL US what you want, what you really really WANT!)

I wanna *hup! * I wanna *hup!* I wanna *hup! * I wanna * hup! * I really really really wanna a ziggie zig AHHH!!

(dumb song? No shit!! ;) :D )








What are some of YOUR Realizations?
























4 comments:

Victoria Von Swarovski said...

Hahaha cryptic carnal messages? what would that be like...
"I want to gouge your eyes out, but also do you like my pink panties?"

I have come to realize that pretty much everyone is on drugs.
I have come to realize that it's okay to be giant if you know other giant people.
I have come to realize that the key to happiness is not striving for some personal excellence, it's just doing what you want when you wanna and screw everyone who thinks you should have all work and no play for years before you "earn" your right to enjoy life.
I have come to realize that black is a colour if you want it to be.

individually wrapped slices said...

i realize that yo mamma has such a crap cellphone that it came free with her plan.

Werd.

ps. i personally like kid leashes. i used to work at a dollar tree and a leash would have prevented those little rugrats from getting behind the counter and touching me, dirtying up things with their kidgerms, or stop them from stealing my dollar tree men.

pps. i realize that i am a retard and can never figure out the word verifications. doyrmmis. omg or is it doyrnmis??! okay i'll just shoot myself instead.

Chet Of The Undead said...

Victoria Von Saucy RTC---

Hahaha cryptic carnal messages? what would that be like...
"I want to gouge your eyes out, but also do you like my pink panties?"


Emmm...COULD be...but that sounds more like foreplay to me...and yes (oh yes) I am FOR....play :P lol


I have come to realize that it's okay to be giant if you know other giant people.

When you say giant people you DO mean people who are all the way giant and are not just standard-sized peoples with Giant....uhh..."idioms" right? :P

I have come to realize that black is a colour if you want it to be.

Funny, I always thought black was more of a TOOL :P

(what? like black and decker...I mean once you go for a big black decker...DRILL you'll never go back...to yaknow, CRAFTSMAN...uhh...tools...geez I'm talking about being a HANDYMAN here...what were YOU thinking about? )

Gawwwd! :P ;)

But yeah, everyone should just be who they want to be already and get on with it! :)

Chet Of The Undead said...

i realize that yo mamma has such a crap cellphone that it came free with her plan.

Werd.


LOL :P

But YO MOMMA'S so fat...that when she asks "Can you hear me now? " what she means that they can hear her mega jelly roll all shakin' from down the street!!!

* PAAAATOOOW!! *

LOL :P ;)

Indv. Wrapped Homeslice---Okay, okay, MAAAAAYBE you have a point about the kiddie leashes (maybe)

...but ya gotta admit, they do look awful bizarre!

Oh yeah...and no more PP-ing in my blog out in the open...that's nasty... LOL ;)

So so adorable she is folks...so so adorable! :P :)

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