Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Vampire Spring Break

I gotta tell you Sunshiners there's really only one thing I miss since I became a Vampire.

a vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in general


The sun.

The Sun is your frrrriiiiiiend, MUAHAHAHAHAHA


Yeah yeah, I KNOOOW I've said something different in the past, if you have LOOOONG...uhh...memories and have been following along since WAAAAY back to my first entry.

(Damn son, you need to get a life! LOL j/k ;) )

I did say that sunshine is overrated...and it is.

I still stand by that. (And by YOU... if you'll pay me enough ;) )

You CAN go without those golden rays for the most part, most of the time. I know this because I've done so for more than 20 years.

BUUUT...sometimes, particularly THIS time of year, ya'get a bit homesick...err...sunshine sick.

You see, down here in Texas, Spring is one of those things that MAKES this place God's Country.

( That and Dublin Dr Pepper And all kinds of wonderful meat products. And the Texas Longhorns And SXSW And The manliness of its many manly men. ANND it's ridiculously high number of hot chicks per capita ANNND...well you get the point! :) )

There is nothing in this whole wide world like springtime in Texas, a nice sunny beachside/poolside day in March, April, or May with a good "Grill Buzz" going and all the sixers of brewskis you can handle.

I was the REIGNING KING of days like those!

Seriously Daywalker folk, I had it all. The doofusly openy-open-Hawaiian hula shirts. The shark tooth beady-shell necklaces, the 1-gazillion watt turkey golden Ken Doll tan. Towel-popper's rash. Jock itch. (Okay TMI on that last one, sorry! :P )

Ken Doll: And SOME PEOPLE wonder if he's totally hetero, Hmph! lol



I invented the whole "Matthew McConaughey" before
Matthew McConaughey was even born.

Matthew McConaughey: You KNOW you want a piece of THAT! lol :p


Point is, I LIVED for this time of year. It was my paradise. Now the closest I get to it is maybe a pool or a Jacuzzi with some inflatable palm trees next to it at 2 AM. And those really dorky leis that look like they're made outta multicolored garbage bags made in China. Yeaaaaaaaaah.

Hawaiian Leis: A cheesy tropical part ain't complete without'um!


Oh and bad Karaoke. Anyone care to hear a really ghost white dude sing himself some
I Am Woman for the 15th drunken time already this season? Heh. ;)

So yeah, sometimes when I'm about to go to bed, I'm watching the early morning news shows and I'm checking the over-day weather forecast, scratching my balls, etc, sure, I get to feelin' a bit sorry for myself.

When I know it's going to be Sunny with highs only in the low 80's, good tanning weather...but I'll be asleep right through it. That part sucks.

'Course THEN I get to thinking, about all I STILL get to do. I mean really, is it all that different? I still get to see beautiful women in skimpy swimming suits...a BIT lighter tanned (HA-HA) then I'm used to, but still nice and almost nekkid. I can still party when I want to, Hell, I can probably down more than twice as much alcoholic product if I were inclined, and who DOESN'T love gate-crashing a neighborhood's private pool at 4 in the morning?

We Vampires are the Olympic champions of that event, lemme tell you! LOL :)

Oh, and there's that whole little part about living for centuries, having "super powers" not getting older as quickly as anybody else you know....Hmmm.....I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's a tradeoff for everything.

So do Vampires have Spring Breaks? Heck yes, Of COURSE we do...just maybe it's not quick as kosher to what you're used to. It's really just all about having fun with friends...and we get down on that kind of action in spades!

You can still have a "sunny day" even when you do most of your living when in the pitch black!

Now, toss me another cold one. Oh, and bring me a towel...I got a fix on some chunky buttage on the horizon that I KNOW needs a good poppin' LOL :)

a cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in general


'Till next time...Keep enjoying your brand new Spring, Sunshiners!

--Chet


a cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in generala cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in general

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