Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Awesomeness Of Texas

I GUESS you COULD say the following qualifies in my...

a vampire blogger named Chet who rants about movies, vampires, pop culture, and all the other Crap in between the in-between!

....Section, though I'm really in more of a chipper.....ish mood.

And why Shouldn't I be? It's Summer...and when the red red robin and the chicks in bikinis start coming with their...uhh..."Bobbles" up top a'bobbing along... :D

It just makes you think about all the nifty things that make your sphere of the world GREEEEEAAAAT!!

Take a looksie, you delicious Daywalkers!!


Summer lasts well into October, and sometimes even November.


A Vampire Blogger named Chet who writes about Vampires, movies, pop culture and all manner of crap!!

In FACT, there's about a 1 in 5 chance in most years you'll be able to wear shorts on Christmas Day.(and a 1-10 chance you can go skinnydipping, unless you count the jacuzzi in my hotel room, then it's 100% lol :D )

A Vampire Blogger named Chet who writes about Vampires, movies, pop culture, and all manner of wonderful crap!!


You can drive the beefest, gas-gusler, overcompensating-ly macho pickup truck (complete with samurai sword rack in the back ;) ) you can find, and you won't automatically be called a hick, a hillbilly, or a cowboy. (Even "Yuppie Soccer Moms" and "flamboyantly Proud Male Ballet dancer thespians" can and DO drive pickups like that down here!) Seriously. one of my Drama professors was as flaming as a character lovechild of Noel Coward, Nicky Silver, and Tennessee Williams, and he STILL had a bigger extended cab and DIESEL, than I did!

A Vampire Blogger named Chet who writes about Vampires, movies, pop culture, and all manner of wonderful crap!!


Almost any kind of cuisine you could possibly want is within 20 mins or less of a drive-time from you.

A Vampire Blogger named Chet who writes about Vampires, movies, pop culture, and all manner of wonderful crap!!


A wide selection of State-Sanctioned paintball courses. :P ;)

A vampire blogger named Chet who waxes retarded on all things horror, movies, pop culture, and whatever Crap he can get away with!!



MANDATORY METALLICA!!---- every weeknight around 10PM on a certain Texas Alt Rock emo station I pick up they play a block (usually 3, but sometimes two ) Metallica songs....or AKA one of the last bands on Earth to sound like they still have their balls....awesomeness!! A welcome respite of hard-charging testosterone in an often times too emasculated world!! B)

Metallica RULEZ!!


Year-round golf. IF you like that sorta thing...but the drivin' ranges are the BEST...

'specially whilst SLIGHTLY intoxicated! lol :D

If this isn't a Happy, Healthy, Longtime Homosexual couple, then I don't know who is...and I probably don't!! ;)

Love 'um or hate'um, you've got to admit, the Gov of Texas has really great hair!

a vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in general


And how many OTHER major cities in the US (Houston) can say THEIR Former Mayor was in the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy!

Shiaat, I jus' thought there 'wuz two of ya!!



The Texas Bikini Team!!

Gotta love Texas women in Bikinis!!


Some of the most beautiful women in the world were born/ or are from/raised right here!! (Need proof? Okay, go look up the following if you don't believe me: (No wait...I'll EVEN help you out by linking to them...and showing pics!!)

Angie Harmon

The most interesting lawyer on Law and Order...period.


Jennifer Korbin

Lacey Summers: Now THERE's a Presidential name if I've ever heard of one!!


Molly Sims

Hot is as Hot does!!


Alexis Bledel

Saucy Rorycat!!



Shannon Elizabeth

Poker Babe with hot apple pie please!!

Jaclyn Smith

Egaaad Jaclyn Smith looks better than some TWENTY year olds!!




Alley Baggett

Saucy Color Contrast, thy name is Alley Baggett!!


Noelle Hancock

Noelle Hancock: Blogger wittiness and babe-olociousness personified!!


Oh trust me, that last one is not even a porn star despite the "Porny" sounding name, I didn't even include any of them...well...technically!! :D

Heck, even our "girl-next door" not perfect 10 centerfold type women are pretty saucy looking. I too thought for many years it was just "Texan Braggadocio" but no longer....no longer!! :)

(Speaking of which, I may have to put one or ALL of them in my "Babe Salute" sooner rather than later...RAAWWR!! :P )

If you like underdogs, our sports teams (with exception of the Longhorns...HOOK'UM!!) are ALWAYS considered the loathsome underdogs by the national sports media!

Even Vampires Hook'um Horns Baby!!


Pits'N'Spits the best REAL barbecue pit makers ON EARTH!! (Seriously, they can make a BBQ pit out of almost anything...)

The perfect place to grill your baby...back babyback babyback babyback RIIIIBBBS!! ;)


Probably the only state in the union where a 65 year old man with macular degeneration can still get a "conceal carry" handgun license (again, if you dig that sorta thing! :P )

Don't you CALL his Mamma a Ho!!


Some of the best schools for the Israeli martial art Krav Maga in the US

Now THAT is what I call Foreplay!!


The Land of BBQ and Music festivus...es!!

MMmm...MEAT is MAN FOOD!!


Austin City Limits!!

A Texas institution!

ZZ Top!!

Another Texas institution...and a barber's nightmare!!



Spoon!!

There IS no Spoon...unless of course it's THIS Spoon!!



Stevie Ray!!

We miss you...we do indeed!!


George Strait!!

Yup he's still the King!!


Blue October!!

The only emo...ish band that doesn't suck!!


We have some very "eccentric" politicos, as per Examplo:

Ron Paul

RON PAUL: 'What...WHAT?! Yo wanna make somethin' of it???! Yo wanna squall??! Let's go!!


Sheila Jackson-Lee

Uhhh....W-T-F??



Rep, (and former "Hanging Judge" ) Ted Poe

There's nothing dorkier than a white man in a do-rag!!



Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman: couldn't be more Lovable Texas Cliche' if he tried!!


The only state in the union where it is STILL ABSOLUTELY ILLEGAL to shoot a buffalo from the second-story balcony of a hotel. (if it's from the third story, or from the second on your own house, then apparently everything's copasetic!)

Caption: Rodeo star Ty Murray and TV Personality Joy Behar sit down to a quiet dinner...

The Alamo Drafthouse Movie Theaters!!

One of my favorite hangouts in the vida de Real!


Blue Bell Ice Cream!!

Ice Crtream: TEXAS STYLE!!


Mancuso Harley Davidson

Chicks dig crotch rockets!!




Probably the finest American symphony and ballet companies outside of Boston, New York, LA, Washington DC, or Chicago (Keyword: Probably! :P)

Oh yeaah I could do that Ballet thing...assuming I could detatch my BALLS right quick!!


You can get REAL Mexican food almost 24/7 ('course, that's KINDA gettin' to be true just about damn near everywhere in America now...but I just thought I'd throw that out there :D lol MMMMmmmm...)

Fish Tacos and Margaritas are as American as Apple Pie!!


Schlitterbahn!! (Hell, even the WORD sounds cool when you say it!! lol B) )

Ya GOTTA dig Schlitterbahn!!

Garner State Park!!

Garner: Intertubers and Redneck Girl Heaven baby!!


Mount Bonnell!!

 Bonnell as a makeout spot?? Excellent choice dude!!



AND FINALLY.... (for now )

We have a WONDERFUL Spring season....I mean....who DOESN'T dig Bluebonnets?? (especially when that's all that the ladies have on...and they're tan already and it's ONLY May!! LOL :P :D )

Bluebonnets: The beautiful, sworn dictator-for-life KING of all other flowers!!


In short, if you live in Texas you have a lot to be proud of....doncha think??

Hell, after all that YOU BETTER!! ;)

--- Chet



a cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in generala cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in generala cheeky vampire blogger named Chet who writes about pop culture, monster/horror/B-movies and other crap in general

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